Wait a minute. Yes I am.

I checked the Billboard charts today, and I am disgusted to say that Clay Aiken's single "This Is The Night" is at position #46.

I happen to like this song. A lot. I remember Randy Jackson's comment that he hated the song and hoped "they" didn't make it his first single. I remember yelling at the television, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about, DAWG! DUDE, that song is amazing!" Randy also said Clay "sang his face off," which is now part of my everyday vernacular, so I'm letting the negative comment slide. This time.

So here's what I don't understand. A literate song like "This is the Night" is DOZENS of places behind these songs on the charts...

Right Thurr
I looked up "thurr" in the dictionary. It doesn't exist. I don't think any songs with words in the title yet unrecognized by Merriam-Webster or Oxford should be allowed in the top 40.

Never Leave You - Uh Ooh, Uh Oooh!
I would like to see the sheet music for this song so I can determine if syncopation or perhaps an extra sixteenth note thrown in is responsible for the extra "o" in the second "Uh Oooh!".

Rock Wit U (Awww Baby)
Look, spell the words correctly, or don't write the song. It's "WITH", not "WIT". "WIT" has a completely different meaning and has no place in this song, that's for certain. And the last time I checked, "U" had two more letters preceding it. Awww, baby.

Are You Happy Now?
No, no I am not. For two reasons. This song is horrible, and Michelle Branch sings it. She dissed Clay, so she's dead to me.

Thoia Thoing
I have no idea what this means, and I don't want to know. The fact that a person who was arrested on child pornography charges is beating CLAY AIKEN - my DOWNY BALL - on the charts NAUSEATES ME.

My Love is Like...Wo
Yeah, that's really deep.

I am taking solace in the knowledge that only one of the songs has a little black triangle next to its name. Platinum status. I wonder which one that might be?

Now you understand why I don't listen to the radio.

clay before
clay after


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