WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "American Idol" finalist Clay Aiken stopped by the Capitol to sing "Happy Birthday" for US Senator Elizabeth Dole.

What? WHAT?

Am I to understand that Clay Aiken, the man to whom I am the personal assistant bodyguard, has time to sing Happy Birthday IN PERSON to one Senator Dole, but can�t spare a few precious moments to do the same for my girl KELLY?

I will not stand for this.

Peeps, I heard this news and got on the horn immediatement, as they say in Celine�s native tongue.

I gave Mr. Aiken quite a stern talking-to, and let me tell you, if he hadn�t been in New York City when I spoke with him, he would have gotten a good little SPANKING too.

Needless to say, he was feeling pretty guilty after our conversation and promised Kelly a song of her very own for her birthday.

It gives me great pleasure to present this gift to Kelly on the anniversary of her birth.