clay of the day archives guestbook profile diaryland 2004 Claybie Awards |
My girl Kelly says Clay Aiken can sing songs about raping horses and she would sing along and buy the album. She�s right. He makes every song sound great with that fricking voice of his. Here�s a perfect example. (Don�t go running away because you think this is going to be one of those diary entries where someone quotes LIKE TOTALLY KEWL LYRICS THAT RULE THE WORLD 4EVR. I promise to deliver snark.) Clay�s first full length CD will be released sometime this fall, so management has him testing out this HORRIBLE song called "Invisible" on the American Idols concert tour to see how it will be received. Are these asshats for real? Of course people are going to love this piece of crap song. CLAY AIKEN IS SINGING IT. I thought The Suits had focus groups for this kind of thing where they round up folks on the street who have never heard of Clay Aiken, have them listen to his music and then give them free CDs and tee shirts for their time. I guess it makes sense that the concert audience IS the focus group, because these are the fans who are going to buy the CD. Probably multiple copies, too. But I digress.. Now, you would be hard pressed to find two more obsessed, I mean, dedicated Clay fans than Kelly and myself, but we both agree that this song is HOOEY. Thank goodness Clay had the good sense to add all the shirt grabbing and deep knee bending to his concert performance of it, or he would have had a fricking revolt on his hands. My Downy Ball is so smart. Me likey. Despite the song�s mediocre melody, I find the song perpetually stuck in my head. And it might not even be due to the million gajillion kazillion times I watched the concert videos of it. BUT THE LYRICS. OH MY GOD THESE LYRICS. THIS SONG MAY VERY WELL HAVE THE WORST LYRICS EVER WRITTEN. This song is downright creepy. Check it out. I wish I could be a fly on your wall Are you really alone Still in your dreams Why can't I bring you into my life What would it take to make you see that I'm alive UM CAN YOU SAY STALKER? And now, the chorus... Then I could just watch you in your room If I was invisible I'd make you mine tonight If hearts were unbreakable Then I can just tell you where I stand I would be the smartest man If I was invisible (Wait..I already am) - this part is all whispery special effects WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? "I WOULD BE THE SMARTEST MAN?" WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? SINCE WHEN ARE VOYEURS SMART? AND WHERE DO YOU STAND, BY THE WAY? APPARENTLY OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW. I SMELL A RESTRAINING ORDER. Is it possible for this song to get any weirder? Apparently so... I called out your name You don't hear a sound I keep tracing your steps Each move that you make Wish I could be what goes through your mind Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life OKAY, THIS IS THE PART CLAY�S FANS DO NOT NEED TO HEAR. IT�S GONNA GIVE THEM IDEAS, MAN! NOT GOOD! AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE THE COLORS OF YOUR LIFE? CAN THEY ACTUALLY TOUCH SOMEONE? DO COLORS HAVE ARMS AND HANDS FOR TOUCHING? CAN I SPECIFY WHICH PARTS I WANT TO TOUCH? How about this bridge before the final chorus? But you don't even see me Even when I'm screaming Baby, you don't hear me I am nothing without you Just a shadow passing through... AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL DISORDER. BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID. I can�t WAIT for this CD to be released! clay before clay after 14 comments so far |