I can�t stop loving Marie Osmond.

She was the first female star over which I obsessed. I adored Donny Osmond and believed we would wed and make beautiful babies, but my adoration for Marie was independent of the lust my seven year-old heart felt for her toothy brother.

Confession. My real name isn�t Marie. It�s Danielle. Marie is my middle name. I wasn�t given a middle name at birth. Sinful covetousness took over my soul at the tender age of six, and for my seventh birthday, �Marie� was legally added to my birth certificate as my middle name.

At last, I could join the ranks of the young ladies of the seventies who shared my middle name, not because of an unhealthy idolatry, but because this was a ridiculously popular middle name among second generation Italian-American girls in Upstate New York, and, I�ve a hunch, throughout the entire country.

I thought I owned every Marie Osmond album and collectible on the planet until today.

Today, Clay Aiken made me look like a pathetic excuse for a Marie Osmond fan. In an interview with Ability magazine, Clay revealed that the first single he ever bought was �Meet Me In Montana� by MARIE OSMOND! I don�t even own this 45!

(*searches ebay frantically*)

I always knew Clay and I were connected by an intrinsic passion for shoes, but I never imagined our similitude would extend to the woman for whom my identity was legally altered!

And so, a new chapter of my rich fantasy life begins...

The crisp air reddened their cheeks as Clay steered the topless silver Volvo convertible down Rodeo Drive toward Prada. Danielle silenced the volume on Marie Osmond�s �Paper Roses� so Clay could concentrate on his parallel park...

It could happen!

clay before
clay after


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